Team work a parenting approach

I’ve just been asked on Twitter ” How do I do it ?”

Do what ?

Look after four children .

Now with only having a 140 characters to answer, one word spang to mind TEAMWORK.

To effectively look after and parent our four children Mr6 and I have to be a team. We have to pull together, be a unit and mutually support each other every day. I suppose you could compare us to a football team, it certainly feels like it half the time. Picture, if you will, myself and Mr6 as the managers, but of a small unprofitable club of which we have to fulfill many roles. Such as, Coach, physio, accountants, first aiders, kit washers, PR managers even the team psychologist, and most importantly a referee !

We have to have a carefully considered game plan every time we leave the house as a family; who’s going where, what position in the car is the most unconfrontational, who has the first aid kit, and spare clean kit for the inevitable fall (probably deliberate) into a muddy puddle, for which I hold bloody Peppa Pig personally responsible !

Then when out on a day trip or family occasion, the coach comes out in us both. A full on pep talk on how behave ensues. ” No arguing, no fighting, be polite, smile and talk to great-aunt flo even though she scares the living bejesus out of you, don’t get too silly and please for the love of God,don’t tell the relatives how much mummy swears and tweets, yep there’s the PR manager for you !

But still MR6 and I remain solid, if one has said no to something,no matter if the other really thinks it would be ok, it’s still a NO ! This we have learnt over time, many an argument has been started when one of us has said no, then the other has said ” oh go on it will be alright, it wont hurt them, or the worst one, when a grandparent has asked to do something with the children you know the other wont agree with, that one by the way IS GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE !!!X

Ok we do get times when we think the other is perhaps being a little unreasonable, think that a bad mood/day has fogged their judgement. I know im guilty of this and so is Mr6, but we have to stand together and agree with their decision, if you don’t you are giving your children carte blanche to exploit gaps in the party line, they are crafty little buggers and it doesnt take long before they are playing you off each other. This is when the rows start and chaos begins !

Ok, when the kids have gone to bed or out of ear shot, then you may lay in to the other half for being completely unreasonable and utterly grumpy old fart, and if they side with their mother again I WILL FILE FOR DIVORCE AND BEAT Sorry I mean we will dicuss it rashionally like adults and come to a compromise !

I have a real pet hate of parenting left to just one parent, whilst the other gets to be the good guy, the kids favourite. This is unfair on the other parent and on the children it leads to disputes and unreasonable requests. So be a team, work together: it took two of you to make these babies, mind you I bet one of you came first and not together !!! ( ooh Mrs 6 outrageous ! )

New path … not knowing

Tonight I’m not quite sure where to start ?

Its been a really busy week, I’ve had no time to post, and quite frankly neither the inclination. My week has been taken up by the lad. It’s hard to say whats been going on because we are still not sure ourselves and I really don’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to us or the situation.

He has spent nearly three days in the hospital with odd symptoms which continue to baffle the consultants and us, two visits in one day to A and E, a Dr visit then another trip to A and E with him being admitted. So yep its been stressful and as always these things have a knock on effect on the whole family.

The night he was admitted, Mr6 and I should have been attending our eldest daughters first senior school parents evening, and we were gutted to have missed it, but being a parent makes you make choices. Often unfair choices and undoubtedly someone will lose out.

It upset our middle daughter she really dislikes sudden change, but thankfully wonderful grandparents stepped in and calmed the house once more.

 And again whilst in hospital with your child, come more decisions, who should stay, do you let them poke and prod your precious little one, But luckily the Drs take those decisions away from you and most of the time you follow their lead. But what when they turn to you, look to you for clues, look at you with baffled expressions. Then what ?

We look at he Drs for answers and expect them to just know with one look whats going on, and sometimes they don’t. This is not their fault, but It just made me realise how much we look to them and expect just to know. The pressure these Drs and nurses have on them is phenomenal.

So what now……

We wait and watch, as he continues to bemuse the Consultants. It’s not serious, this we have been reassured of, just odd and the words never seen it before keep cropping up. But all involved were brilliant, all worked really hard for my boy, and continue to do so. His consultant called me today to see how he was and that he had spoken to another hospital for advice. Now that to me is good service, and we knock our nhs!!

So, this is a new path as a parent, one of not knowing. But one thing I do know is that we have had the best care given to us, who continue to work for us, and we are lucky to have such a system in place.

Someone pass the ice cream : Twitter the fallout

I’ve just been replying to a comment from last nights post, on being strong and sticking to my guns, and staying off twitter. It was said I was being strong keeping all the doubting voices in a box. I had to admit today has been hard.

I’ve been alone all day at home with the lad, by choice as had lots to catch up with. Or was I just keeping busy to keep my mind occupied ?

The whole day has been shadowed by a void in my stomach, (we all know the feeling im talking about) you’ve just been dumped by that rather handsome bloke, and the pain is insufferable. I pottered around the house, then I would find my phone in my hand. It hadn’t gone off, it was just there heavy in my hand, blank.

The washing called again, and my day carried on. I kept going back to it though, picking it up, then putting it down again. My late teens came flashing back, picking the phone up putting it down again, should I call, not call, will he call me ? I felt empty, a bit lost. But this is ridiculous, why am I feeling like this?

My mind wandered, how where #bustimetweets going, was Callum being as crude as always, I wished Ed would make me a virtual cuppa with a slice of Battenberg. If one of the stay at home dads was in a better emotional place today, would my newly appointed word “rocktastic” (I will get it in the dictionary!)  be forgotten. I cared a lot more than I thought.

But im positive, this is the grieving stage right ? I enjoyed having a night to myself last night, with out my phones sexy beeps interrupting my thoughts. I wrote in my writing note-book. O.K it was about my experiences on twitter, but its a start, I’m writing again and that’s good. My little girl came home unwell, so tea time was really hectic, tea to cook for the others, putting the girls bedding back on, and keeping her fever down, and just keeping a watchful eye over the toddler. Add twitter beeps to that and you’ve got a distracted fraught Mummy !

I’m nervous about tomorrow. Looks like the lass could be off school, and I should be at playgroup with the lad. Play group was a non tweeting zone (self enforced!) as had real “people” to converse with, and spend quality time with the lad.

I’m about to watch The Vampire Diaries for the first time on my own ! Yep I had a tweep who watched TV with me !

So come on Mrs six, buck up ! He’s not going to call ITS OVER ! X

(I think)